Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”
If Stuntmen from the old movies don’t have your full respect then I just don’t know what to say to you
l tried really hard not to reblog this
Yeah, it is indeed really hard not to reblog a fucking thing.
Can we all agree that the man in the first gif is the manliest man in the world?
Are we just going to all silently acknowledge that the last guy is clearly dead and that we just saw him die.
HOLD UP FOR A SECOND
ALL OF THESE GIFS ARE ONE MAN
THE SINGULAR BUSTER KEATON
WHILE FILMING THE GENERAL
HE SNAPPED HIS NECK ON THE RAILROAD TIES AND WENT HOME AND ICED HIS BODY
AND CAME BACK FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY
HE ONCE GOT HIS HIP RIPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET BY A MALFUNCTIONING ELEVATOR AND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH HIMSELF FOR BEING INJURED
HE ONCE HAD TO FALL 100 FEET DOWN A WATERFALL INTO A NET
A STUNTMAN TESTED IT AND BROKE BOTH LEGS AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER
BUSTER DID THE STUNT ANYWAY AND LANDED WITHOUT A SCRATCH
IN ‘THE HIGH DIVE’
BUSTER DID A TRICK DIVE THROUGH A CARDBOARD DECK THAT WAS CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE THE REAL DECK
ONLY HE COULDN’T TELL FROM 100 FEET UP WHERE THE CARDBOARD STOPPED AND THE REAL DECK STARTED AND THERE WAS ONLY LIKE A THREE FOOT MARGIN FOR ERROR
AND WHEN HE HESITATED A SUDDEN BREEZE LITERALLY KNOCKED HIM OFF THE DIVING BOARD AND HE HAD TO JUMP ANYWAY
AND HE MISSED THE REAL DECK BY LESS THAN A FOOT BUT HE MADE IT
IN THE SECOND GIF HE’S RECREATING SOMETHING THAT THE ACTUAL GENERAL PURSUERS HAD TO DO IN THE CIVIL WAR
IF HE MISSES THAT TIE
THE TRAIN WILL BE DERAILED AND HE WILL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION
IN THE THIRD GIF AN ENTIRE HOUSE IS FALLING HE HAS ONE TAKE AND IF HE HAS NOT DONE THE CALCULATIONS CORRECTLY HE WILL BE CRUSHED
HE HAS AN INCH-WIDE MARGIN ON EACH SIDE
AND THE HOUSE LITERALLY BRUSHES HIS LEFT SHOULDER ON THE WAY DOWN
YOU CAN SEE HIS LEFT ARM JUMP BECAUSE HE’S FLINCHING FROM THE PAIN
THAT LAST GIF
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT JUMP
HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL AND THEY HADNT PLANNED FOR IT
BUT HE SURVIVED
BUSTER KEATON SURVIVED 100% OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED LESSER MEN INCLUDING WWI, TORNADOS, HOUSEFIRES, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN NETS, CRUSHING DEPRESSION, THE DEPRESSION ITSELF, THE MCCARTHY WITCHHUNTS, THE END OF SILENT CINEMA, AND ABOUT 900 MORE OF THE STUNTS YOU SEE ABOVE
BUSTER LIVED TO BE 70 YEARS OLD
FATHERED LIKE FOUR KIDS AND EIGHT GRANDKIDS
HE CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF ALL THAT
THINKING THAT LIFE WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL
BUSTER KEATON IS NOT JUST A STUNTMAN
HE IS A GODDAMN SAINT
BUSTER KEATON’S PARENTS WERE PART OF A TRAVELING SHOW.
THEY WERE ACROBATS.
THEY TOOK BABY BUSTER UP HIGH IN THE AIR WITH THEM.
THEY DROPPED HIM.
LUCKILY SOMEONE WHO WAS STANDING UNDER THEM CAUGHT BABY BUSTER.
THAT MAN WAS HARRY HOUDINI.
HARRY HOUDINI SAVED BUSTER KEATON’S LIFE.
if you don’t think that’s the coolest shit you can get right out.
he was blessed by houdini oh my god
This whole thing is so rad.
i have a clock where a little buster keaton is hangin!! thanks dad
i have a clock where
a little buster keaton
is hangin thanks dad
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
valid reasons to hate tumblr: very intense hivemind, huge amount of literal nazis/pedophiles, less than adequate blocking system, 0 support from staff, nobody fact checks anything, etc
NOT a valid reason to hate tumblr: some 14 year old using xe/xir pronouns
“tumblr is a hellscape”
“-because [complaint about amount of queer people on the site]”
Anythinggoes12 