Uncategorized – Page 187

oh hi thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage

maphatingcharacteroftheday:

Today’s MAP Hating Character is: the Mine Turtle from asdfmovie!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS!!

deducecanoe:

ayellowbirds:

heytheredelilahpool:

eileenpaints:

peterpreciousparker:

escapedpatronus:

tHERE IT IS

YOU FOUDN IT OMFG

This is literally my favorite set of comic panels ever.

I connect with these panels on a spiritual level

this boy literally has a superhuman sense that warns him of danger in advance, but still makes decisions like these.

The major cause of Peter Parker’s problems is, in fact, Peter Parker.

sophieasaurus-hipster:

one-time-i-dreamt:

My old friend got pregnant, and her family is so fundamentally religious that they accepted her story that it was a virgin pregnancy rather than let themselves believe she had //whispers// relations.

When I heard she was pregnant, I flew to Mexico to help with the preparations. I told her I knew the truth, and she started crying and told me she had no idea who the father was, because she didn’t remember.

Anyway, at one point I went to the theatre to see Suicide Squad and Jared Leto was there in full Joker costume creeping people out by sitting behind them and blowing on their necks whenever he came on screen.

When he did it to me, I turned around and just said “Leah’s pregnant.” and he turned white. I mean, you could see him go pale from underneath his makeup. He looked stricken. Then he just said, “thanks.” in a quiet voice, and got up and left.

I went back home without seeing Leah again, but she called me right before i woke up, crying, saying her family had disowned her because she was having the baby of an actor.

Fuck I forgot to read the url and I thought this was someone’s actual life event or some shit

macklemorehentai:

baearth:

dippednv8splash:

hellaween:

communication is the foundation

Where are they going? What are they saying?

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

they are singing s traveling song

orphanwheat20:

gallusrostromegalus:

I have the window open and just saw a cat run by, followed by a lady shrieking “RASPUTIN!”

He strikes once again

weeniebagel:

welcome to anti chickfila. we love gay people, our food sucks, and were only open on sundays.

redhead4eyes:

paper-storm:

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

Welp

scxrletwitches:

_{This joke isn’t about shaming that type of woman. This joke is not about that. Whatever kind of woman you are, you’re quiet, you’re fat, you’re small, you’re big, you’re tall, you’re loud, you don’t know much, you got a gill, whatever kind of woman you are… you are right. That’s it. Whatever you’ve chosen to be, whatever you wanna be, you are correct in being that as long as you are happy. My point to you is, if you are the shy type, if you are the wallflower, if you are the shrinking violet, if you are another… floral metaphor that has to do with being an introvert, my point to you is that you don’t want the guy who wants you because of that energy. A man who wants a woman because she looks scared… is a sexual predator. Okay? All these girls that he could hit on, he picks the one that’s like, shivering like a wet chihuahua. Like a nervous street urchin just in a corner putting out all kinds of “no” vibes. You don’t want the guy that walks up and is like “Excuse me. I couldn’t help but notice you looked terrified. Wanna see my dick?”}

_{— Iliza Shlesinger, Elder Millenial A Netflix Comedy Special (2018)}