Worst customer in town.

petty-revenge-stories:

This is from a few years ago. I worked nights as a cashier at a regional grocery chain. We had this regular who was absolutely horrible:

• She always came in 15 minutes before closing.
• She frequently made racist/homophobic comments to or about the staff.
• She insisted on paying for everything she bought individually, in separate transactions, because she thought it saved her money in sales tax. Every. Single. Item.
• She liked to take sink baths in our restrooms, even though she had a perfectly good apartment (I knew because she lived in the building adjacent to mine. This will come into play later).

One night she gets there right as we’re locking the doors behind the last customer. She literally shoves our 17 year old bagger to the floor and forces her way in to do her shopping. Our manager just lets it pass. We ring her out, and the bagger she shoved gives me a ride home. On the way, we see her car at a CVS barely a block away. She’s just leaving. So we pop in and ask the cashier if she acts the same way, and of course she does. She’s one of their regulars too. After a few minutes of commiserating, we decide to get her back. So my buddy books it over to my complex, which has assigned parking spots. We take a non-taped cardboard box and put it in her spot and weigh it down with cinder blocks so she can’t just kick it out of the way. Then we fill it to the brim with dirt, leftover powdered laundry detergent, and gallons of parmelat (a very nasty brand of non-perishable milk). No matter how she tries to move it, she’s going to get covered in sh*t. We wait, and thirty minutes later, she pulls up to find her spot blocked. She gets out of her car cussing up a storm and tries to kick the box. No dice. Then she tries to lift it, but the blocks on the bottom combined with the liquid that’s been soaking the cardboard causes the box to rip, and she is covered. Cue to us laughing hysterically while she flips her sh*t. Did it make her a nicer customer? Of course not. But it did make her subsequent visits far more amusing, as she never found out who was responsible. I only wish I’d stopped at that CVS to tell them about it.

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